Saturday, 14 April 2012

Who Would You Most Like To Be Trapped In An Elevator With? |Group Fun

"I would love to be trapped with Alexander Skarsgard because he's hot and he's a sexy viking."

"Wonder Woman – After all we may need her Amazonian strength to get us out... Tom Ford - He fascinates me for obvious reasons and I find his voice very soothing for those moments when panic will threaten to engulf me… Oprah Winfrey – She will keep us all entertained and at the very least ask pertinent questions about ourselves for the security camera footage! It will certainly make for great TV when we are all out!"

"Michael Buffer."

"I'd like to be trapped in a sweaty elevator with David Gandy because I hear he's got.. a great sense of humour."

Okay, I can see myself trapped in a wood-panelled lift with a hitman & a love-interest, the muzak playing would be "Oh My Love" by Katyna Ranieri, I'd be wearing some kind of quilted bomber jacket like a modern-day Steve McQueen and I'd talk in hushed tones. I'm a man of few words - but you probably know this already...I'd suddenly notice the gun in the hitman's holster and everything would go to slow-motion, I'd push my love-interest behind me (for arguments sake, let's just say it's...I don't know...Carey Mulligan - I'm work-shopping this....) and the lights would go dark, except for on her where they'd get brighter curiously, I'd turn to kiss her (as only I know how - maybe some clashing teeth, probably some biting, a little bit of spit & a hair pull (again I'm work-shopping this...), the kiss would last for ages - actually enough time for the hitman to have taken both of us out, which he doesn't curiously (this IS my fantasy, yeah?). Then just as the muzak is crescendo-ing, I'd turn around and beat him to death, possibly even stamp on his head and crush it like an Easter egg...actually this sounds like it could be developed into a really good film...I don't know, maybe something about a driver (my character), but I'd get someone like Ryan Gosling to play where did I put his number?"

"Dolly Parton because I could rest on her lovely breasts while she sings to me and gives me words of wisdom."

"Alexander Skarsgard... for obvious reasons. ;-)"

"So if I'm stuck in a elevator Im gonna have to go with Zooey Deschanel. We are both kind of awkward and quirky which would make for some really bizarre conversations and goofy ass chatter. I kind of have a huge crush on her, especially after New Girl came out. It's like this awkward and uncomfortable train wreck that would happen, but at the same time its the most entertaining and magical thing ever. We would just get along because of the lack of filter on our mouths and being completely aloof to what is happening. I like that."

"Dynamo. I hate lifts so I'm sure he'd find a way to magic us out of there. If not, he could do that magic trick where he finds a penny behind my ear. If we're stuck in there for a while, chances are I'll become very rich."

"I'd like to be trapped in an elevator with an elevator repairman. I have a terrible history of being trapped in elevators in foreign places (once with Charles Quiles) for hours on end. I've probably spent over half of my life in an elevator by this point! But I hope that Portis would be there too so we could cry in fear together. And possibly play table tennis when the repairman fixes the whole thing. I'm a pro at table tennis on the wii, you know!"

"I would like to be trapped in an elevator with Rihanna and Chris Brown... I would surely witness something of epic proportions. I'm imagining something a long the lines of a sexy Wrestlemania."

"I would like to be stuck with Katy Perry because she is on the rebound! Eeeyyyy! ;-)"

"My BF and Fred Phelps we could make out in front of Phelps until the rescue team arrived."

"Tony Ward. From embracing his gay porn past to Hustler White to justifying Madonna's love to now rocking it as a hot, older male model, Tony has always been my fave. Maybe the lift would get stuck during a national lift engineers strike and we would be trapped for days. If only."

Ant: "I'll have to say Sigourney Weaver. She looks like she'd know what to do and would be able to kick ass should aliens come into the equation. Just to make the situation a bit more dramatic!"

Leo: "One of my biggest fears is getting stuck in an elevator, so I would need someone who could keep me calm and get me outta there asap. Paul Newman did a pretty good job of rescuing people in The Towering Inferno, so he'd be first on my list."

"It would have to be Dave Franco... for obvious reasons. Enough said."

"Trapped in a lift? Nobody. There's more room and air."

"Without a doubt... Gareth Thomas, I would feel safe no matter what was about to go down... even me."

"Well, as a twelve-inch high piece of plastic ass, I'd leave plenty of space for lift companions, and claustrophobia really isn't an issue for me. Neither is eating, drinking or *God forbid* going to the bathroom. I can survive for days without these basic human needs, yet there is one thing I get a little, shall we say... FRUSTRATED without. Yes dolls, if I'm gonna be trapped in an elevator I want a mighty big slice of man meat to keep me entertained. Or five. So who are my chosen hunks?

5. The Fass: You've all seen Shame, Mr Fassbender would get the job done with feelings involved. Who wants strings? I'm Barbie, not frickin' Pinocchio!
4. Ryan Reynolds: In my head he's as smooth as Ken... in more ways than one...
3. Drake: Apparantly I'm the best he's ever had... I'd just like to remind him of that one more time! Rihanna who?
2. Roberto Cavalli: I know it's wrong, but have you seen the man's tweets? He's unconsciously hilarious, a crazy lothario and could probably whip me up a super hawt animal print ensemble quicker than you can say "has someone called the super?"
1. Drumroll puh-lease... the number one hottie who I wish to "elevate" me to ecstasy is none other than Mr Chuck Bass himself, Ed Westwick. He's spent more than enough time pinging up and down to Blair's penthouse, IT'S MY TURN NOW! BASS BE MINE!"

"I'd have to pick two people so that there would be less chance of awkward silences! I guess Stephen Fry for some intellectual conversations... I may as well learn something while I'm stuck in there. And Joan Collins, as I'm sure she'd have a story or 50 to enthrall us with once we were done with the educational bit! Fun times!"

"I would most like to be trapped in an elevator with James Franco. Franco is almost unnaturally incredible and a huge inspiration creatively. What he stands for, i.e. not giving a fuck what people expect of him and thereby surpassing all expectations combined with his creative talents - photography, art, writing, acting, directing...the list goes on, would make him my number one fellow elevator captive. We would have a lot to talk about. If his brother Dave also happened to be stuck in the elevator, then that wouldn't bother me either, probably for different reasons... and some of the same."

"With Brad pitt, cause of his... yeah and that amazing... Ok honestly? I wouldnt want to, as I would freaking freak out!"

"Daniel Day Lewis and Paul Thomas Anderson. Why? Did you not see There Will Be Blood!?!?!

"I'd like to be trapped in an elevator with Inspector Gadget. He'd have all of the things you'd need to escape and probably some fascinating stories about life as a spy to keep me occupied in the meantime. Also love his style - Mackintosh Trench and Trilby never goes out of style."

"This question has had me baffled. Then it hit me. It was right there in front of me! You. You, Mr Portis. Because after you posted your 'thank you video',I fell in love with your accent. It's simply fucking awesome! So, I'll just sit there and you talk....until someone opens the door."

Only one more elevator confession left to be posted... you can read it on Monday!


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