Hello Pedro! Would you like to introduce yourself to my readers?
Hello Waspsy, 'wagwan' wit you pon di river and all that jazz. I am Pedders! :-)
Talk me through an average day in the life of you?
Sleeping and self pleasure is a standard usually followed by a cheeky nap straight after like an old man would, in the nap sense not in an old man shoots his dust every morning.
Describe yourself as a child?
I was a chubby ugly long-haired quiet little kid that did ballroom dancing instead of football. Obviously the 'lads' at school loved me as a target. Don't worry, people forget ballroom is training yourself to throw people around!
Has much changed now that you are fully grown?
Considering I went through a few heavy hitting drug-filled years with a tickle of self destruction I managed to finally get my shit together. Now I own a charity, plan events, model, all sorts. So I'd say life's a little different!
We should maybe start with the modelling before this quickly descends into an exposeh? on the sexual shenanigans of a tattooed deviant let loose on a city that rarely sleeps. How did you get into modelling?
I was found at a seedy warehouse rave. My big black booker that behaves in a way that makes Louie Spence look like Vin Diesel asked me how tall I was and because of my paranoia I thought I was about to be kicked out of the rave for being too tall!
Woke up in a damaged warehouse with a damaged life. Literally so hung over my granddad hurt. Got a call saying 'HEY IT'S BIG BLACK GAY RAPH FROM LAST NIGHT!' I thought the jagermeister had made my naughtiness go to a whole new level of 'what the fuck did I do last night?!'
I forgot to ask for your model stats! Be explicit, if you must...
I'm 6ft 1. 8inches wide. By that I mean there are 8 inches width between my ears. Blue eyes and black hair. Been really lucky, been in most things from Vogue to front covers of stuff. I have been truly blessed for every job I get considering I never show up for castings!
So what are castings really like? In my head I imagine there to be a lot of hair pulling, spitting in each other’s faces and pushing each other down flights of stairs as you compete for that elusive dream campaign? It’s a lot like ‘Showgirls’ isn’t it?
Ha! No one gets thrown down stairs, these are models - they just pretend to be nice to each other and you always get the sly guy asking other models 'you been busy!?' with a friendly face but through gritted teeth. It's so bitchy and boring, you just sit and wait and everyone pretends to like each other. If I do show up to one which is rare I piss everyone off by being loud and trying to get everyone out for a tequila after.
That sounds quite shit to be fair.
What’s been your favourite modelling job?
Bad Habits! I got paid to eat junk food, get naked, and spray a beaut of an Austrailian in the shower! Was so cold though my dick went from normal to tictac size in seconds. God damn ice-cold Champers!
And the worst?
Shooting y-front summer range in Brighton in the winter. My feet stung and my teeth nearly crumbled, they were chattering so much!
My readers might not know that you starred in the Little Mix music video for their hit single, DNA. You played the character of ‘Ryan’. How much research went into playing the part of Ryan, and how do you feel about your character’s treatment in the video? The girls weren’t very nice to you, were they?
Ha, we walked around London for a few days with a little sexy beast called India who at the time was a fellow stoner so was easy days! But filming took 22 hours and I'm in the video for 3 seconds! I was tied up and kidnapped by Little Mix.. sounds bad but the best part of the day was the free breaky!
Well I love it rough and kinky and they said they wanted a glint of my personality to come through so I got my kinky perverted smile in at the end.
Also, how do you feel about the name Ryan? It’s a little boring isn’t it?
They gave it to me because apparently its a BLOKES name. I get it 'Pedro' sounds like a gardener or a waiter sure and without the 'r' spells pedo BUT Ryan? That's not epic, it sounds like a wimpy kid that tries to hard to fit in.
Your facial expression in this gif says it all.
I got my first tattoo thinking I'd only get one. Little chinese symbol on my arm... was back the next week for more! I used to draw and design tattoos so I had designs lying all over the place and was nice to have my own art on me. All my tatts are genuinely just for me, can't wait for a couple years and to have the one sleeve like David Beckham. Lads are like shit... my little baby angels and clouds mean I just tried to hard to get some poon.
What do your tattoos say about you and what will your next tattoo be?
They say I'm a fucking rockstar. I'm either finishing both my sleeves or getting a bull skull over my stomach.
You recently launched your own YouTube series called Pedders Presents, and have already featured interviews with Ricki Hall, Bill Huxley and Ayesha Hussain! What can my wasps expect from the show?
It's now games, rounds and teams! We just did Beards vs Boobs. We've got North vs South and I just fuck with their lives! But I still have to respect their careers and not take it too fair... yet.
Also, like, when am I getting an invite?!
Come down first week of August! We'll get some Jagers and cuddles in! I wanna comb your beard with my chin.
I fucking shaved it off mate! Let's postpone until September. Can you give us a hint as to who or what we can expect from future episodes? Will there be more beard? More boobs? A cheeky bit of willy?
Ha, nudity. Paddling pools full of baked beans. Midgets.
We both have quite a bit of Portuguese in us, although sadly all I can ask for in Portuguese is water. I hope you can go one better?
Gostaria de uma rodela de picha? - it means 'would you like a slice of dick?'
Dirty. Your dad is Portuguese, right?
He's not fooling anyone, he looks like a foreign Robert De Niro!
What language do you prefer to make love in, English or Portuguese?
I like to kiss certain body parts in a French manner if I am honest. I'm just so international.
So what’s up next for Pedders?
I don't plan just see where it goes really, just grateful for the ride I am on right now!
Indulge me in a cheeky wee game of Shoot, Shag or Marry? Your choices are Ricki Hall, Darren Black and Bill Huxley…. GO!
Marry Darren because he truly looks after me! Even when I get myself in trouble with health due to abuse he's the first one to slap me around! Shag Billy because I'd ruin him. And shoot Ricki - I guess it might even happen, the dirty adventures we get into when we are drunk will surely lead to gun play too!
If you could be any animal for the day, which one would you be and what would you get up to?
HONEY BADGER! Just go around fighting cobras and not giving a shit. It's like a badger with super powers that lives in Africa and sleeps off deadly poison like its a sambuca shot.
Would you like to ask Portis Wasp a question?
Is Wasp your real name? If you could have a super power what would you have? If you could grow anything in your penis and shoot it out like a pez dispenser what would you grow?
Wasp is not my real name, I nicked it from Iain Banks' The Wasp Factory. If I could have any super power I'd want to be able to kill folk with a kiss. Makes it less awkward when they don't call me back the next day, innit. And if I could grow anything from my penis and shoot it out like a pez dispenser... hmm... tricky. Either vinyl copies of this single (sorry urethra!) or peanut butter m&m's. Tasty!
Little white lies, we all tell them. What was the last white lie you told someone?
My granny's bright orange hair looks natural to her face.
Any last words?
Fuck bitches, get jager.