I was just another Scotsman looking for love and acceptance on the internet and after I don't know, a day or two maybe, I discovered what the internet could truly offer this wasp... Fashion, photography music, nudity, and the best bit, FAME. My Portis Wasp says is a scrapbook of my loves which I hope you'll love too.
You can holla at your boy wasp here for general chat, advertising and collaboration enquiries:
myportiswasp@googlemail.com
Q&A - some of the talented creatives I have featured on my blog were kind enough to ask me a few questions. You can read the full breakdown of what goes on in my head in the Famous friends say section of my blog but at least these snippets will allow you to better understand me, and what went wrong along the way...
Colby Keller (Porn Star/Artist)
What are you most afraid of?
"Myself. I am my own best friend and worst enemy."
Dimitris Theocharis (Photographer)
Top or Bottom...?
"Oh Lord, I’m going to pretend I don’t know what that means and say neither. I’m an agnostic – and no that doesn’t mean I flip-flop between religions Dimitris! Tsk"
Stewart Shining (Photographer)
What's your dream vacation destination? (Either one you've been to or want to go to)
"A cabin in the woods with friends (one day I’ll have some). But the cabin can’t be anything like the one in Antichrist or the one in Evil Dead. I want a nice experience in the woods with lots of scrabble, wine and partner swapping by candlelight!"
Louie Banks (Photographer)
"Snog, Marry, Kill?" Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Jackie Stallone…
"This is really hard Louie. But I’ve given it enough thought, thrown-up three times dissecting Arnie, Sylvie and Jackie's ever-changing faces, and I think I am happy enough to commit to the following. I would snog Sylvester’s pillow lips as I actually think he’d be quite a gentle kisser – or should I say the least likely of the three to eat me. I would have to kill Arnold as he totally creeps me out. And I would marry Jackie. She’s utterly bonkers but come on; she’s an astrologer, former dancer, and promoter of women’s wrestling – every day of the week with her would be a fucking hoot!"
Munroe Bergdorf (DJ)
Tell me about your most embarrassing moment!
"Oh it was probably that fashion show I did when I was eleven. I don’t like to talk about it but yes I am a former model. The local shopping centre had just had a major refurbishment and there was this really big fashion show put on to celebrate this quite ordinary achievement (by really big I mean Reporting Scotland were filming the event for the 6 o’clock news and Cheryl Baker (from Bucks Fizz) was presenting). The Chippendales were also there modelling aprons for a kitchen shop. And you think I’m joking? I’m not. I was modelling for one of the top brands in the centre, BHS, and for one of my walks the organisers decided it would be a real talking point if I sat on top of one of the Chippendales shoulders? I would like you to know Munroe that I only agreed to this because I’d been promised a £10 voucher to spend in Woolworths upon completion of my third walk. This was it. It was only when the freakishly oily hunk-of-a-man beneath me strode out onto the catwalk, with little ole me hanging on for dear life not quite understanding what I had done to deserve this new life, that it became clear that the combined height of the two of us meant that only one of us would pass through the mdf stage entrance successfully. What makes this worse is that I could see my forehead slamming into the cheaply constructed set a good twenty seconds before it happened but when it did, throwing me back and nearly off the Chippendales shoulders had he not been holding onto my legs from the front, the sheer adrenaline kick that consumed me caused me to flail about like…. I can’t bear to recall it again… but I’m going to have to say… Elizabeth Berkley in Showgirls……….. that scene in that swimming pool. But the Chippendale didn’t notice, he was playing to the crowd, and the crowd didn’t notice, they only saw the half-naked man wearing an apron so for the longest thirty seconds of my life I straddled that Chippendale for all he was worth, and for all I was worth at the time, £10. Made worse by the fact that no one cared and I was wearing a cheap jumper. Thinking about it... maybe my greatest fear is the thought of falling on hard times and having to do this again in my lifetime for the cost equivalent of a pret a manger sandwich."
